God counts. No one else.

STYLE WE HEART #11

Sexy One

Hipster

How We Roll

STYLE WE HEART #10

STYLE WE HEART #9

TELL IT!

Now some may think that the family member who has done everything he/she was asked will make them confident. It does not. Some " high-achievers" --(serious emphasis on SOME, because it's not all) could not be jealous. For what ? The truth is that what makes us beautiful has very little to do with material comforts . Jealousy is an affliction of the soul. In fact...it must have something to do with refusing to honor ones uniqueness.  ---READ ON FOR THE LOST ONES. ~ The Mistress


Jealous family members do exist, and they can cause a problem with family overall. They are not an urban legend or a strange delusion, as we would believe. Family and all of our interactions with them are supposed to be a blessing. But, if you have a jealous family, you feel absolutely cursed.
There’s a saying that goes, “Blood is thicker than water”. In my opinion, it’s obviously more jealous, too. It’s so sad to know that jealousy would motivate your aunts, cousins, or even your siblings to hurt you worse than strangers off the street.
Strangely, I’ve also had horrible luck in dealing with jealous relatives in my life. It could have been worse, but it’s a shame that jealousy even occurs within family units. I suppose that we can say it’s just human nature, but it’s so unnecessary.

How to deal with jealous family members

Keep your mouth shut. While you cannot remove yourself from the family tree, you can easily manage any jealous family members that you have. The most important step is to keep them out of your personal business. They do not need to know that you are purchasing a new home, awaiting a promotion, or even dating a new partner.
You do not want your goals or current events set as the main discussion at their dinner table. They will simply devour it and speak negativity over your situation. Do not fuel the fire for their gossip and their negative talk.
Remove the guilt. Do not feel guilty that you are pulling away by not sharing your life story with them. Sometimes, you just have to love people from far away. It’s easy to feel that you are being the bad guy when you are simply trying to protect yourself.
Family Gatherings. If they invite you to family functions, you can still attend. You just have to be mindful about what you share with them. There is nothing wrong with enjoying their company.
However, in most cases, you will find that certain relatives who harbor jealousy will usually not invite you to their events. You should not despair, and you should not force your way into their world either. It is probably best that you limit your physical interactions with them as well.
Avoid Confrontational Methods. A lot of gurus advise that a person should call a family meeting to discuss these details, but a lot of times it only makes the drama last longer. Shy away from the all-out confrontations or planning any Dr. Phil style interventions.
The most important thing for you to remain is a loving, caring individual and not allow the antics of jealous family members to make you bitter. This may sound weird, but become the peace that you seek from your family.

It Is Not Your Problem

Sometimes, these same jealous relatives may be conflicted in some sense. They may actually be proud of you yet jealous that they were not able to achieve the same as you.
While that is sad, it is not your problem. You shouldn’t have to be overly humble and be ashamed of your milestones so you don’t offend jealous family members.
In time, you will either find that your absence has made their heart grow fonder of you or that nothing has changed. You can only control the actions of yourself and gain some peace by doing so. ~ article by MzIndependent

For the LOST ONES !

                                                                   READ CAREFULLY! adios!

Insecure people often reveal their self-doubt without being aware of it. Indeed, a wise observer can frequently “read” another individual very quickly. For example, members of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra have told me that they can tell whether a new conductor is competent and talented within 10 minutes of the beginning of their first rehearsal with him.
What follows is a short list of behaviors that suggest insecurity:

• 1. Are you able to give a compliment? Even more important, can you graciously accept one? The latter behavior tends to be difficult for someone who is unsure of himself. He might blush or become flustered. Alternatively, he is prone to dismissing the validity of the praise, instead telling you why it isn’t true. What should one do if complimented? Simply smile and say “thank you.” Nothing more.

• 2. An inability to maintain eye contact is hard for many individuals who lack confidence. They will look away or look down, but rarely maintain the gaze of the other by looking into his or her eyes.

• 3. The self-doubting person tends to apologize a good deal when no apology is necessary. It is as if she expects to be reproached or is afraid to give offense; so, she prophylactically tries to excuse any possible mistake on her part in order to avoid just such a response.

• 4. Answering a question with an upward inflection of the voice has been heard or done by everyone. The person being questioned doesn’t have certainty about his answer, so he replies with a tone of voice that betrays his insecurity.

• 5. Men and women who are uncomfortable with sharing personal information for fear of being judged will oft-times turn the conversation to a different topic, away from anything that might make them vulnerable or reveal too much. This is also called “changing the subject.”

• 6. One way of inoculating yourself against criticism is to make jokes at your own expense. Do this too often and others may conclude that you put yourself down because you believe yourself to be seriously flawed.

• 7. Do you have trouble making a decision? The comedy team “Cheech and Chong” (I’m not sure which one) said: “Taking responsibility is a lot of responsibility.” If you automatically let others choose the restaurant, movie, or other activity, you are either very easy-going and good-natured or you don’t want to be held accountable for making the wrong choice.

• 8. Do you state strong opinions in the course of a conversation? Those who avoid doing so might want to keep the peace — often a very good thing — but some of them fear drawing fire and unwanted attention to themselves, putting themselves in the uncomfortable position of having to defend their statements.

Before I give you eight more signs of insecurity, I’ll say a few things about what causes that condition. Many things can contribute. Critical or neglectful parents, poor academic skills, frequent moves that make you “the new kid” (especially if you are introverted by nature), learning disabilities and ADHD, being “different” in some fashion (size, shape, color, religion), thinking that you are the “poor” kid in a community of the affluent, sensing that you are the average child in a school filled with very bright youngsters, feeling ashamed of your parents or your residence, frequent rejections, getting fired or laid off (whether deserved or not), clumsiness, a history of abuse or bullying; physical unattractiveness, deformity, or injury; and so forth. Now back to the list of signs of insecurity:

• 9. Are you prone to nervous laughter in social situations? It is another behavior that betrays insecurity.

• 10. People will appraise you harshly if they see you bite your nails or simply observe that they look bitten.

• 11. Do you routinely efface yourself and place yourself at a disadvantage — letting others go first, speak first — reluctant to raise your hand? Do you hesitate to take your turn? Are you extremely self-sacrificing? Insecurity can make you wait and wait until the opportunity before you is lost. Excessive deference displays little regard for yourself, even if some amount of deference is often a sign of good breeding and consideration for others.

• 12. Are you nervous when eating or drinking in front of others? Are you fearful that you will drop something, display poor table manners, look funny, or make a mess of yourself? You probably won’t; at least not more than the rest of us.

• 13. Can you make phone calls without trepidation? Especially those in which you need to introduce yourself, correct a problem, or speak to an authority? Too much discomfort in anticipation of these sorts of actions can reveal your sense of personal uncertainty.

• 14. Might you make too many excuses? Those who are unsure often give explanations for their decisions where none are required. For example, imagine that you order an entrée at a nice restaurant and the waiter asks whether you want an appetizer or salad to start. Instead of just saying “no,” you feel compelled to give a reason why you don’t. Some folks offer multiple excuses for what they do and why they do it, especially if someone else will be disappointed by their action. A word to the wise: if you must give a reason, limit yourself to one. The more excuses you give, the more uncertain (or dishonest) you sound. For  example, “I can’t come to the party because I have a stomach ache and my car broke down and I need to study.” One reason will be much more convincing than three, but you probably needn’t explain yourself nearly as often as you think you do.

• 15. Insecurity can be suggested by hesitation to ask for a favor or an inability to say “no” to someone who asks you for something. Anticipation of rejection or disapproval is the motivator for both of these problems with self-assertion. By contrast, a self-assured person will not automatically believe that the relationship (or his own value) is dependent upon going along with someone else’s wishes or doing things for others.

• 16. Do you make more than occasional requests for reassurance? A few examples: “Does that make sense?” or “What do you think?” or “What would you do?” or “Do you think that is a good idea?” or “Do I look OK?” Do you need to have sex frequently to prove to yourself that your partner remains interested in you? If you are self-assured, you won’t regularly implore your partner to calm your doubts and remind you, over and over, in words and deeds, of your desirability or intelligence.

I suspect that you get the idea. Feel free to add an item or two yourself.
You can use the list in one of two ways: to consider whether you are personally insecure or to evaluate the confidence of some of those around you.
Of course, you are the only one whose self-confidence you can change.

----articled by Dr. Gerard Stein 

Internet Gangstas ARE A JOKE

                 Get at me...she cried like a retarded clown on meth. Threats are a waste of air.  Only idiots feel powerful when they are safely in the confines of their parents home . True power is saying what you mean to a person while they are standing in front of you. Anyone can cuss. anyone.

                  Wicked family members are worse than a fat rat in ones home.

Self Love

Where is your college degree, Rhianna?

What? You followed your heart and it paid off. 
You are 100x wealthier than doctors, lawyers and
clowns known as the McMaster whore!


Hips is the business. WERK  Rhi. Shake it Rhi-Rhi.

When Hatred Is Inherited

    
           Why do talentless people always want to attack peaceful and confident souls? Why do some think a Degree adds more life or sense of importance to their decrypt lives?  It really doesn't and we shall give a few examples in this write-up. Life is a very interesting stage, especially when people who should love you, secretly wish for your downfall and don't really wish the best for you even when they act like they do . That Familial tin!

      The funny thing about life is how insecure  people walk around thinking that some want what they have or that they are better. Take for instance a teenage girl who got pregnant , gave birth and still lives at home with her daughter; she really has no place to even judge children whose parents are divorced or single parents. In essence she is a very single mother. And her child is still being raised in a single parent home.

      This brings me to another topic: boundaries. Everyone should have boundaries. When people want to walk away from your life, you must let them. There is no need in dialoguing with them to stay. If they felt your presence in their lives, mattered, they would have tried to make it work. Therefore, it is completely childish to harass a person who says," I want nothing to do with you. "

     It is doubly laughable to call your mother and father to get involved. I don't think any separation, is worth that sort of energy. I am equally amazed at how people would form uneducated opinions, about something they know very little about...yet the hold several degrees. This goes to show that some people are really lost without books . If you left them in a jungle, they won't survive. Maybe haters are really fans in disguise. Paging my Ambassasor...jor!

    Mitt Romney is a Harvard graduate. Yes, you heard me right, but listen to his speeches and you just may come to conclusion that maybe just maybe, Harvard and degrees mean zilch. How else can you explain the inability ,of many college graduates in securing gainful jobs which actually have a thing or two do with their area of discipline in college?

According to a report by CBS, in fact, half of college graduates cannot get a job. And this is why .

      Can lack of college degree  tear family members apart? yes and no. Yes, because no one wants to have to take care of someone who is old enough to care of  his/herself. No, because a family love should always be unconditional. Family is a facade. Especially with aunts who are jealous of ones mother. No wonder!

      Not all that glitters is gold. Behind the golden gates of a palace, the poorest attributes of human nature find a comfortable home to fester and destroy anything good which tries to make its home there. Famous people sometimes are forced to suffer in silence. No one wants to be the first to ruin the golden tower. So, the jealous ones attack anyone who shows promise, the aggrieved has to confide in only a select few, and still try to uplift a golden name/ " legacy" .

      Now, the issue of marriage, why do many think that because marriage, a college degree, their insecurities is at the top of their priority list in life, that another holds the very same priorities in his/her life? Unoriginal people are terrible to be around. Small minded people are equally annoying. I have so little patience for them, which is why, I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone whose only reason for life is to keep up with the Joneses. Such people never ever find true happiness.

     Hmm...we wonder if keeping up with Joneses was the cause of an illegitimate child? Well, that's for the Ellams to decide. I won't assume, there is no need to assume. Non-issue is what they are and will always be in my life.


Ise o!